Saturday, 28 January 2012

EDUC-6165-WEEK 4-Who am I as a Communicator?

I had my husband and a work colleague evaluate my communication skills.  My husband and my work colleague both see me as people oriented.  My husband evaluated me as having mild communication anxiety whereas my work colleague seemed to be more aware of some of my anxieties in speaking out at team meetings.  I was so surprised (well maybe not) that my husband evaluated me as having moderate verbal aggressiveness whereas my work colleague said I was not verbally aggressive at all. I think my husband's assessment surprised me as I do not think I am verbal aggressive with him just more comfortable and confident expressing my opinion.
I must share this story.  After my husband completed the verbal aggressiveness evaluation (actually he did all three tests about himself), I was shocked at the results.  Instead of completing the assessment about me, he completed the assessment for himself.  He said he followed the directions.  

Insights about communication:
  •  No matter how clear you make the instructions (complete assessment for me not yourself) some will hear only part of what you say.
  •   It is important to not rely completely on your first impression.  It is important to take the time to get to know the person.
  •   Our assumptions or perceptions can influence the way we interact and communicate with others.  
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3 comments:

  1. Mary Loreman28 January 2012 at 10:40

    Tamara,
    I am assuming that you and your husband had a great time completing this assignment! It sounds like he enjoyed taking the evaluations. You are correct, our assumptions do influence the way we communicate with others.
    Mary L.

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  2. Anonymous29 January 2012 at 07:53

    Tamara,

    Did he share his results of the surveys with you? Did you evaluate him to see if your perceptions of him and his own aligned?

    I think these tools are useful in relationships. We do not always perceive situations the same which can lead to conflict. Your example of your husband's evaluation of your verbal aggressiveness is good example of how we are different. Hopefully it helps to hear something like that from someone so close and creates a better awareness of how you communicate with each other.

    Meredith

    Meredith

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  3. Denice29 January 2012 at 14:04

    Hi Tamara I let my husband take the test to and he always tell me that he is a great communicator and I tell him yea to other people but not to me and actually he failded the test that he needs to work on his communication skills LOL! But it isto true some people only here what they want to here and I have been known to be a little stuborn but as I have gotten older I try to listen before I speak to make sure I have processed what was being said, esecially as an educator you have to listen, be respectful, and be mindful of the other person.

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